5.8.08

Vacation - or lack there of

I should be on a plane right now to Denver, but I'm not.  I'm stuck in bed "elevating my foot." Grrr...  it's really hard to stay chipper when I should be swimming and running up and down the stairs instead of hobbling, tripping on my crutches, and nearly vomiting every 10 seconds from the nasty medicine/ pain killers I am on.  I had to go to work yesterday... which was totally crazy.  These meds make me sleep all the time, not to mention the haunting feeling of puke swirling around in your tummy just waiting to explode... which it did!  I threw up yesterday in front of my boss in a frickin trash can.  Can you say embarassing?????  I hate having this stupid broken foot!  

It's just hard to see why so many bad things can happen in a row, especially when I was doing something nice for someone who was treating me so poorly at the time.  Well, and still hasn't asked how my foot is.  I don't expect him to ever ask me, I'm just more or less shocked because I thought him differently than that.  You can't have ever cared about someone and just watch them in a situation such as mine when they are being soooooooo nice to you, and then turn your head and ignore the fact that they obviously need help.  It's mind blowing to me.  Makes me wonder a lot about our relationship and how any of it could have been real.  I think that might be one of the hardest fights I am fighting now... the fact that I was so dumb to trust in something that never existed.  I don't wanna keep blogging about my break up.  I really hadn't planned to today, but the words just slipped out.

Back on topic, I have been blessed so much during this time.  I was (and sometimes still am) feeling sorry for myself in the situation, but I realized how many people genuinely care about me.  I've had an overwhelming response from people who support me and it feels amazing.  It actually brought me to tears thinking about how many people in my real life are checking on me everyday, and how many bloggy friends have offered an ear.  I actually talked to one on the phone yesterday... first time ever.  I felt so awful talking for the first time under such crappy circumstances, but she was just soooo sweet.  She really helped to change my perspective, whether she meant to or not, she made me look at all the people who do care instead of the one person who doesn't.  

I just wanted to say thank you to all those out there who have been soooooooooo nice to me since this whole thing began and for offering your support and lending an ear.  I truly am blessed to have so many loving people in my life. 

4 comments:

singedwingangel said...

OH wow sweetie I am so sorry you are having such a hard time with the pain meds.. Is there anything else they can give you for it?? I know they switched my mom's when she was having issues with hers ..try to keep somethign like crackers on your tummy. HE is so not worth your waster energy.. seriously. Let it go, cause holding onto the anger is only going to affect you and not him. You forgive nad move on not for him but for YOU cause you deserve someone better

Bloggy Blog Designz said...

You are so great! Thank you so much for that!

viewfromdownhere said...

I'm so sorry to hear that...it does seem like bad things come all at once. Trust me, I've been there. Hang in there and keep surrounding yourself with positive people. You don't need any negative or toxic people around you...it's just not worth it!

MommyLovesStilettos said...

Honey if you need to blog about your breakup, do it. We'll be here to read and leave supportive comments no matter what! *HUGS*